You know about it - if you don't you should - but it is that distinct 'weariness' that comes over you that cannot be rectified by any amount of sleep. It is that Spiritual Apathy that you can try dissect and conquer but which you have to take stock of and halt its destructive path immediately.
What am I talking about?
BURN OUT! And it is something I have read about, heard about, and received strong instruction to be aware of and to halt with any Spiritual Aggression necessary.
I fear it is something that has recently started to knock on my door.
It has been a stunningly divine, yet seriously demanding year of ministry over here in Watford. There have been so many joys that it is difficult to recollect them all with clarity, but alongside of those, sometimes even within those, joys have been some heart wrenching difficulties. The magnitude of the emotional demands of a church replant - implanting and inspiring not only vision but NEW (different - 'O no not change!') vision has been remarkable to me. As has been confirmed by men far more appropriate to the task, and for greater than me - this is no calling for sissys! As a result of that I have noted a certain apathy in my desire for God, a certain inability to maintain fervency of any level in prayer, and a lack of FEAR for the Lord and His holiness.
Last Thursday this become so obvious to me and I realized that the axe had to be laid to the root of this 'slide.' Well at least the motion of bringing the axe up and placing the force within the strike to destroy the root had to be initiated. So that's what I did - I actually just rested and tried to pray only for me, my soul and the restoration of the desire, the hunger, the thirst for God and the resetting of my mind and affections. The process continues, but I hope the most important thing has taken place: the Recognition of this deadly enemy to passionate discipleship.
We must watch ourselves and guard our hearts.
Simon
